Hey, y’all. I know it’s been a while since the wild adventures of our Lord Queen and trust that I am not done. I’ve been following pop culture like you have and Jay Z has done too many things that I have yet to make fun of him for. In the meantime, I’ve been trying to get my shit in a bag so it’s together, focusing on my craft and paying dues. I’ve been working on various writings and trying to get folks to let me write for them to no avail, yet I have yet to feel defeated. Tonight I’d like to show one of the reasons why.
A while ago, I was reading one of my dad’s hotep pseudo-science books about melanin and I was entertained. It talked about how melanin made black people almost superhuman while white people’s lack thereof is what makes them so bizarre and dangerous. I began to wonder what would be the consequences of white people trying to harness the power of such mysterious energy, but in a modern context. The results of my imagination are beneath me. I hope y’all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Melissa figured it would be a regular, boring day at the First Letter Theater, but her best friend Orchid is always set on changing that with her Internet videos. They worked in an office with off white walls, 3 cubicles and a desk in the back for their manager Linda. Linda was always off somewhere smoking or laughing with other higher ups, so her bestie was free to leave her cubicle and bring entertainment. The 3rd cubicle was for Kim, the only white girl in telemarketing. She was nosy as shit.
On this day, Melissa looked at her phone in disbelief. Orchid told her to search Melamilk and wouldn’t explain what it was and, for some reason, it was the last thing she expected: milk made from melanin. Orchid always found some wild shit on the Internet, but this isn’t from a twitter account with a misspelled name; this was on the Biology Journal website.
“So you see it?”, her friend Orchid said as she stood over Melissa and tried to see the phone, “this is crossing the line”. Melissa ran her thumb up her phone’s screen slowly, letting her mind digest what she was reading. A laboratory was researching a way to make a melanin based energy drink.
A Harvard university student named Michael Yancey had allegedly found a way to “milk” melanin and use it as a nutritional supplement. He was a nerdy looking black guy with a neat goatee but a haggard hairline. “He got a shape-up like a sellout”, Melissa thought to herself. He learned how to farm melanocytes to produce a copious amount of melanin.
Michael read about all of the useful properties and he realized it could be used to help those “in need”. “A lot of black people, including myself at one point, didn’t even know how much melanin helps us on a physiological level” he told the science website. “Once I learned how to encourage melanocytes to produce melanin away from the body,I felt it was only right to use it to help people”. Melissa rolled her eyes and thought he means “White people”.
She looked at Orchid, relaxing her wrist and letting the article fall away from her sight. “So they’re making black people’s skin drinkable so they can stop getting sunburn, basically?”
Orchid leaned over her shoulder. “More than that. Did you even read the article? They trying to strengthen immune systems and increase muscle energy or some shit.”
Melissa rolled her eyes and looked back at her phone. The next paragraph in the article explained how Yancey found that adding eumelanin to a milk-based solution he developed enhanced its antioxidant properties. The Melamilk would be absorbed into the stomach, causing the special melanocytes to spread to the skin through the bloodstream. When asked if Melamilk was unsafe, he replied “Not at all. I still would not recommend drinking too much, though.”
Melissa was nonplussed. “But there’s already food with melanin in it so why is this stuff special? Is he getting it from living creatures or something?”
“Nigga probably suck it out his ass with a syringe and shit” Orchid bends over and pretends to stick a needle in her butt. “Oooooh, wait til white people taste THIS ass”. Melissa covers her mouth as she laughs at her co-worker turned best friend.
“Would you like some more booty juice, massa?” Orchid starts twerking and sticking her tongue out. Melissa laughs before a white guy’s voice cuts through.
“Whoooooa, am I interrupting something?”
Mark peeked through the doorway, an intrigued smirk across his face. Mark was an average height white guy (he would say “I’m Italian and Armenian, thank you”, only for Orchid to reply “so you white with herbs and cheeses?”) with brown hair and a 5 o clock shadow. He worked in the box office, but he came up to bother them regularly. He’d say everybody else sucked, but he just didn’t want to admit he preferred black girls. “Or can I join in?” He said through coffee stained teeth.
Orchid turned around and put her booty against the counter “You most certainly can not. This is a girl’s only club.”
“Well,what if I say identify as a woman, now?”
“I’d say ‘show me your pussy'”
“Ah, see. . . I’m still looking for one of those”
“I hope you find one, Spaghetti Kardashian”
“Ah, a portmanteau of stereotypes. You’re like a modern day Mo’nique.”
Melissa laughed at the exchange, suddenly wondering if Mark would be the type to drink Melamilk. “Mark”, Melissa called out “Would you be interested in this?”
Melissa placed the phone in Mark’s hand and he squinted. “Melanin Milk? Like the stuff in people’s skin?”
“Yes”, Melissa replied. “They want to make our skin into Red Bull.”
“Beg your pardon?” Orchid interjected.
“No, not gross. Like, you know, drinking people’s skin. Black people’s skin isn’t gross.”
“Good save, Mark. Good save.” Orchid pat him on the back then picked up her juice and drank some.
“It says here the guy says it makes you a better dancer. Ha, I’d buy boxes of this shit if it did that.”
“Don’t joke like that.” Orchid replied. “You would really drink that?”
“I mean, if it’s not harming anyone, right? It’s not like I’d be getting cornrolls or something. Start saying stuff like ‘yo, yo what’s up, dawg? The heezy off the sheezy my n-wordizzle.”
Orchid raises her eyebrow. “So that’s how we sound to you?”
“No, no, I was making fun of how old white people think you guys talk. You know, they still use slang from like 2002. Come on, you know I be. . . I be on the new shit. Smoking that gas. With the draco.”
Orchid covers her mouth to stifle a laugh. “Do you hear this man?”
Melissa chimed in, “I don’t know, I mean, white people do need help. You guys get skin cancer from sunlight and stuff.”
“and that fucking sucks, dude. The article says that’s one of the main uses for it.” Mark tries to hand the phone to Orchid, but she declines with her glare. “So not be in the sun so much?” she says. “I don’t know, this just seems weird to me.”
Mark sighs. “So I guess people are going to protest this, huh?”
Melissa and Orchid gave Mark a look that made his hair stand on end. “It was a. . . It’s a genuine questiokay I’ll talk to you guys later.” Mark slides out of the room as Orchid shakes her head.
“See, here we go. Now white people finna piss on our face and tell us they’re Drake.”
“. . . I thought it was ‘tell me it’s raining’?”
“I guess, but I wouldn’t mind if Drake pissed on my face”
Melissa laughs so hard that a tear rolls down her cheek. She begins to shove Orchid playfully with one hand. “Oh my God, bitch, get away from me”.
“HOE” Orchid bursts into the telemarketing office and charges towards Melissa. “They really gonna make it! They got caucasian testimonies!”
Melissa spun her chair from her desk to see what Orchid was yelling about. Kim, the redhead in the next cubicle, peaked her nosy ass head up to see why Melissa responded to being called a hoe.
“You are super loud.” Melissa said with her 6-inch voice.
“Yo, look at this. Look.” Orchid handed her phone to Melissa assertively. Melissa turned the phone right-side up to see a video of what looked like Rachel Dolezal with a sew-in. The woman began talking about how much healthier she’s been feeling.
“It’s like eating bee pollen every hour. I’ve been drinking Melamilk with every meal and I’ve just felt more awake. Or should I say ‘woke’? Hahaha.” Melissa’s grip on the phone tightened, causing a faint cracking noise.
“No, you don’t break my phone, I break my phone” Orchid reached but Melissa smacked her hand away. The woman continued her goofy testimony.
“I’ve been able to move more gracefully. It’s like my skin is, I don’t know, like alive? I can feel my heartbeat! Like, you think I sound crazy”
“No,not at all” a man off camera said.”Have you experienced any side effects?” The woman laughed. “Besides a sudden addiction to Luther Vandross? Haha, no. I’ve just felt more vibrant. This is better than any energy drink. Like, wow, if black people always felt like this, no wonder they made it through slavery.”
Melissa pushes the phone towards Orchid. “Bitch, take the phone before I throw it!”
“Don’t give it to me, I might throw it too!” Orchid smacks the phone on to Melissa’s desk.
Melissa looked at Orchid in disbelief. “Orchid, that white woman said she feels like a vibrant slave.”
“She didn’t exactly say that” Nosy ass Kim in the next cubicle looked down on the two women like a chunky-faced, red-haired Cheshire cat. “She said she sees how slaves could’ve survived slavery. It’s like a compliment.”
Orchid’s eye twitched.
Melissa put on her best phony smile.”Kim, I am triggered. It would help if you didn’t add insult to injury by explaining idiotic statements to me.”
Kim adjusted her glasses. “I apologize. I simply wanted to, ya know, curb any potential misunderstandings.”
Orchid finally spoke up. “Okay, Kim. Thank you, Kim. Great. So, anyways, the article says that after FDA testing and shit, it could be released to the public as soon as August.”
“But who would sell it?” Melissa asked her.
“Rite-Aid and GNC for one.”
“For two”, Melissa corrected
“I feel like black twitter didn’t hear about this yet or something or Charlemagne the God would be talking about it. This like donkey of the d-”
“What? There’s a black twitter? Like a website?” Melissa was genuinely befuddled.
Orchid rolled her eyes. “No. It’s–you don’t read buzzfeed?”
“I don’t. . . I don’t know what that is.”
Kim peeked her head over the cubicle again. “Actually, Deray said on twitter that he would like to speak to the guy that created it.”
Orchid looked unimpressed “Okay, for what?”
“I don’t know, Orchid” Kim replied “maybe some people like to have discourse before burning people at the stake.”
“Then he need to have discourse with that man’s barber”
Melissa looked at Kim and then at Orchid before speaking up. “The FDA wouldn’t really authorize this would they?”
Orchid had her answer “They authorized dick pills that can kill you if you hard for over four hours, so I don’t see why not.”
Kim responded, “It’ll probably be a regular old energy drink and get exposed soon. Maybe all of this melanin talk was some foolishness to boost interest. Once people actually start buying it and realize it’s just chocolate milk with extra vitamins, it’ll be another passing fad”. Kim was making sense, but nobody asked her ass.
Melissa has just finished convincing a theatergoer to renew their subscription when Orchid rolled her chair into her cubicle. She rolled uncomfortably close to Melissa, practically putting her chin onto her shoulder. The fact that she put a mint in her mouth, knowing she would do this, slightly vexed Melissa.
“Melissa. Melissa, the shit sold out immediately, Melissa.”
“I heard. Uh, read.”
“They said it taste good, Melissa.”
“White guys are going to start calling us ‘Melamilk’.”
Melissa’s eyes shot open. She never considered the cultural effects of white people having a melanin drink. They’d give it a goofy street name like “dat milk”. What if Ellen starts drinking it? Can she still fuck with her after that? Oh god, and the YouTube reviews.
Melissa massaged the right side of her face like she was kneading dough. “What are we going to do, Orchid?”
“We? What, you finna march? You smoking dicks.”
“No. No, I’m not. This is some really weird shit. This is like, I don’t know, when slaves breastfed the master’s babies or did experiments on us.”
Orchid gave her a “c’mon-son” face. “So what, you gonna infiltrate the factory? You gonna blow up the Melamilk vats?”
A look of surprise developed on Orchid’s face. “Are you batgirl? You like one of those chicks in the Black Panther trailer?”
“Yo, fuck you.”
Kim and Mark walked into the telemarketing office whispering to each other before seeing Melissa and Orchid.
They both stopped as if an army sergeant barked at them.
Mark did that thing white people always do where they suck their lips in. “Yo, what’s up, Melissa? Orchid? Y’all looking on fleek as usual.”
Orchid sighed. “Mark, if you spaced this type of shit out, right-”
“My bad. I mean. . .my bad. It’s not a slang thing or anything.”
“So, are y’all having sex? What is this? All this?” Orchid waved her hand around as if she was drawing an invisible cage around Kim and Mark.
Kim’s face turned rose as she promptly stepped away from Mark. She moved towards Orchid and Melissa as if they were playing a game of “Mother, May I”.
“No, no not at all. Nothing of the sort.”
Melissa’s eyebrow raised. “So what is it? You guys started being weird immediately.”
Mark stepped forward and was next to Kim again. “You guys have to promise not to be mad at us.”
Melissa stood up from her chair. “You’re drinking Melamilk.”
Kim stepped forward once more. “Melissa, you’re acting like we said we’re on heroin.”
“You’re drinking melanin.”
“Okay!? You act like black people are the only people with melanin! Indian people have melanin, uh, Muslims have melanin–”
“Wow, okay, stop. So, does it work?”
Mark stepped forward and was next to Kim once more. Orchid stood from her chair and put a hand up in Mark’s direction. “I need both of you to stop moving forward like that. I feel like you’re going to abduct me.”
Kim bowed her head. “I apologize. I apologize for my outburst. That isn’t like me and I know Muslims are different ethnicities.”
Melissa gave Kim a look of pity. “I don’t care. This is something made from humans. This is like some sort of racist cannibalism.”
“I think cannibalism is kind of harsh.”
“No! No, it’s not! Why is it that when white people want something, they get it? All the time. You don’t know where this shit is from. You don’t give a fuck. You just want to stop using suntan lotion!”
Kim did that thing where they suck their lips in. “Well, yo-”
Melissa practically teleported in front of Kim’s face. “‘Well, Actually’ me again, bitch. Do it.” Kim looked like Nicki Minaj if she turned around and Remy Ma was in her face. Orchid walked over and pushed Melissa back like a gentle offensive lineman.
“Melissa, you need to chill. You are in outburst territory and this is, like, the number three cause of unemployment for black Americans.”
Melissa glared at Kim and Mark as Orchid turned and walked over to them. “Okay, so you guys aren’t about to go to HR or anything are you? Melissa is very stressed and ya know, she had a visit from Aunt Flo Jo.”
“Nuh uh”, Kim said, “You aren’t even on and you guys have been synced for like a year.”
Orchid was offended. “Wow, okay. We have pussy khaleesi, mother of uterus over here.”
Melissa walked over and did that thing where you suck your lips in. “Kim, Mark, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so emotional over. . . Something political like this.”
Mark sucked his lips in, too. “No, it’s fine. It’s not political, I understand where you’re coming from. A poll on Bossip showed that 88% of black people were against it.”
Orchid made a face like a fart just punched her in the nose. “You read Bossip, Mark? Wow. What?”
“I mean. . . I like to know what Usher and the housewives of Atlanta are up to.”
Kim stood in front of Mark again. Melissa started to wonder if they were, in fact, fucking. “Look, Melissa. We just want to show you that people that drink this aren’t bad people. I always said I would get up and jog around the track near my house and I did it for once! Like, I got up, drank some Melamilk and bam, I was out the door.”
Kim kissed her own teeth. “I have faith that there’s no weird stuff going on. It’s probably plant-based melanin.”
Melissa looked unamused. “First off, you just solidified my point. Second, I hope so. . . But I doubt it.”
Mark started popping and locking in the background before transitioning into hitting dem folks. Orchid closed her eyes in annoyance. “Mark, what are you doing?”
“I’m dancing. The Melamilk is giving me more rhythm.”
Orchid opened her eyes. “There’s not even music on, you pale nincompoop.”
Kim walked into the office with her newfound bounce that she discovered at the bottom of Melamilk bottles. Her light red hair had darkened to a scarlet color and became slightly curlier. She hadn’t even changed her regimen and Melissa would be dammed if she was going to offer assistance. Melissa was vexed by this whole thing.
Kim came over to Melissa’s cubicle and smiled a wide, dumb ass smile. “Do you need me to take anything to the trash for you? Grab anything from the vending machine? Anything?”
“Nah,” Melissa said without looking from her computer, “I’m fine.”
“Cool cool!” Kim’s head disappeared around the corner. Melissa couldn’t tell if she just hated how bubbly she was or she hated that she was bubbly because she drank something that was turning her black.
Orchid walked around Melissa’s cubicle wall and knelt next to her with a look of concern. “So you get the blueprint for the Melamilk factory, Proud Mary?”
Melissa sucked her teeth and didn’t look away from her computer screen. She had no energy for nonsense today. A part of her wants to feel like this Melamilk thing isn’t a big deal. The stress isn’t worth it and it’s not like they’re using her skin. The other part wants to fight Kim right now for expecting her to respect this. While these conflicting feelings battled within her, she chose to be quiet today.
“Oh, okay” Orchid said. “You doing the stoic shit today. Gotcha.” Orchid slid back around her cubicle and began typing at her desk. Orchid was getting annoying too. She always had a joke for something but everything wasn’t funny. It’s unfair how some people can be in good spirits no matter what.
No one bothered Melissa for the next 20 or so minutes, much to her surprise, until the door to the office burst open. She spun around and saw Kim stumbling in with what looked like vomit dripping from her mouth. It oozed to the ground, leaving a mucus like brown trail. “Oh my God, Kim!” Melissa shouted.
Kim looked at her, her eyes blurry with tears before she heaved again. More of the blackish brown ooze fell out of her mouth and onto the ground. When it made a pile on the floor, it almost looked like living shit. Kim fell to her knees and cried behind the pile. “I don’t know! I don’t know what’s going on! What’s going on!?”
Melissa was captivated by the goo on the floor. The way the texture made a solid form, it kind of looked like liquid skin. Melissa knelt down next to Kim and rubbed her back. “Is it the Melamilk?” she asked. Kim shook her head sideways. “This was FDA approved. It shouldn’t–”
“Bitch, are there side effects?” Orchid came seemingly out of nowhere and was next to Kim’s side. Soon as Orchid came over, Kim began vomiting again. Orchid and Melissa jumped back like it was a synchronized effort, Orchid touching Melissa’s arm as they moved backwards. Kim turned around, but the discharge came with her. This time, the goo hung from her mouth like a mucilaginous elephant trunk. It really looked like skin this time.
Kim grabbed at the grotesque goop and pulled down, but it stretched. It wasn’t trying to leave her mouth. Melissa pushed Orchid behind her and Orchid put her hand over Melissa’s arm. Neither of them had ever seen some shit like this before. The throw-up was sticking to her lips and the inside of her mouth. Kim cried even harder.
Orchid went around Kim like she was a rabid dog on a leash and practically dived for her work phone. “Muhmihha. P-” Kim dug her fingers in the skin ooze and pulled down. It made a sickening ripping sound, but still left some of the skin goo hanging from her lips. It looked like thick pieces of dry,black glue. “Help me!” she successfully screamed.
Orchid held the phone to her ear and looked on in terror. “Hello, Richard!? We have an emergency. Call the ambulance and all that shit. What? This is a serious emergency, Richard, don’t tell me not to fucking cuss!” She moved the phone from her ear and said “Richard is calling the police, Kim. You’ll be fine.” Kim began heaving again, as if her body was in disagreement.
This time a trail of the brown, skin-like substance came out of her nose . It was being pushed out, as if her nose was an unfortunate play-doh toy. The pile of goo had solidified and looked like somebody’s grandmother melted in the middle of the room. Melissa and Orchid looked at each other in horror as Kim was hunched over on her knees.
Melissa was in too much shock to read into what had just transpired. Her co-worker was throwing up black people’s flesh and she would have to explain this to people like it was real. It seems real, but maybe this was a dream. It had to be. Kim had given up and laid on the ground when Richard, the older black security guard ran in.
“What in blue hell?” Richard exclaimed as soon he came in. Orchid went over to Richard and grabbed his arm. “Her dumbass was drinking that melanin milk shit and now she throwing up skin, Mr. Richard.”
Mr. Richard looked at Orchid as if she was tripping, which she was. “What I tell you about that cussing? That’s unladylike”. Melissa interjected, “Mr. Richard, did you call the ambulance? She really needs one.”
Richard went and knelt down next to Kim to check her pulse. “I sure did. I know if y’all say something is an emergency, you mean it. So what’s this melanin milk all about.”
“You just said ‘blue hell’, Mr. Richard” Orchid said, making sure her two cents was spent.
Melissa ignored her. “Somebody made a drink with skin cells that have melanin in them and she was drinking it. I don’t know for sure but that looks like what happens when you drink too much or something.”
Mr. Richard shook his head while he looked at Kim, now unconscious. The vomit provided a smell reminiscent of dumpsters to the air. “White people wild, I tell ya. I saw her looking like Teena Marie this morning and thought she was using different hair product.”
“I told her not to” Melissa responded. “Like, I didn’t think this would happen, but I knew something was wrong about this stuff.”
Orchid chimed in “I wonder if that lady still feels like a happy slave”.
EMTs came into the office with a stretcher and went over to Kim. One EMT, a short Asian guy, shook his head as he checked Kim’s pulse. “This is like the 6th time this happened this week” he mentioned to no one in particular. “Excuse me?” Melissa and Orchid said in unison.
“Oh, you guys haven’t heard?” the EMT responded as he checked the inside of Kim’s mouth. “People that drink Melamilk have been throwing up this weird gunk. If they don’t get help, they suffocate on it. The guy that made this stuff is in some deep shit.”
“Yeah, you can’t go around harming white people” Orchid said.
The medic laughed. “That’s why Michael Jackson’s doctor got in trouble.”
Melissa sat at her desk looking at a YouTube video on crock pot recipes. Things had been pretty uneventful after what happened last week, and uneventful is just what she needed. The day after, random staff had come up and asked for the details before asking how she was doing. She was still stressed about what she saw, having had two nightmares since the occurrence, but it’s not like they cared.
The first one she had, she was laying on an operating table in a dark room. She struggled and realized that she was restrained and couldn’t move. Before she could scream, random people came out of the darkness. They were of all races and ages, wearing clothing from various time periods. Each of the people pulled out straws and then Kim stepped forth from the crowd, her straw in her hand.
She stabbed the straw into Melissa’s arm and smiled as she screamed. Then Kim leaned forward and began drinking, the smile still on her face. As Kim drank, the other members of the crowd joined in and stabbed their straws into Melissa’s skin. They all began to drink from her like vampires as she wept and wailed on the surgeon’s table.
In the second dream, she was at her place of employment. She was typing on her computer when the office door flung open behind her, causing her to spin around. She screamed as loud as when she saw what shambled through the door. It was a monster. A creature made of the stuff that Kim was vomiting. A large brown hulk of melting skin. The monster opened his mouth, and more of what it was made of fell out and on to the floor.
Melissa was paralyzed as the beast came towards her, it’s feet making a low squishing noise with every step. The skin that dripped on to the floor as it came in dragged behind it and left a trail of faint, brown muck. Melissa tried to move but she couldn’t. The melamilk monster stood before Melissa and grabbed her by the arms. It’s face morphed into Kim’s and smiled before opening its mouth once again. This time it, threw up right on Melissa’s face, forcing her to wake up.
She slept at Orchid’s last night as a result of her night terrors and ended up watching the downfall of Melamilk together. Michael Yancey held a press conference at his alma mater to address the issues. He was wearing a lab coat and dress clothes, just like last time. He stood at the podium in front of an academic building, looking like a man ready for the firing squad.
According to Dr. Yancey, their was a reaction caused by the melanin, stomach tissue and the chemical that essentially made the melanin a vitamin. “We had met the standards set by the FDA, but apparently their were unforeseen circumstances. The melanin begins to solidify with living ti–uh, stomach tissue and it causes an unexpected reaction. We can assure you that we’re doing what we can at the Melamilk labs to take care of this and go back to providing a proper energy drink to every day people.”
A journalist raised her hand and stood up as soon as Dr. Yancey looked at her. “How is Melamilk labs handling the looming class action lawsuit?” Dr. Yancey adjusted his collar and smirked nervously. “There are displeased consumers, as you’d expect after such a debacle. We hope that we can find a way to solve their problems without involving the legal system.” Another journalist raised their hand, but Melissa turned off the TV.
“Wow, bitch” Orchid said, “Thank you for assuming I was done with the TV”.
“I don’t wanna watch this nigga make excuses. Fuck him.”
“Here I am thinking you’d be happy a bunch of white people got sick off of that stuff.”
“This shouldn’t have been happening in the first place. Now his dumb ass gonna be another black man in jail because he thought he could move like they do. There’s no win in this situation for me.”
“He made a damn black people milk that almost killed some humans but you worried about statistics. Okay, Coretta Thot King.”
Melissa grabbed a pillow and swung it at Orchid with one hand. “Thot that.”
Linda walked up behind Melissa at her desk and knocked on Orchid’s wall. Melissa turned around with slight surprise, being that Linda hardly talked to people at their cubicle. Orchid leaned against her cubicle wall with a bored look on her face.
“I just wanted to thank both of you for your speedy response to Kim’s unfortunate accident. A lot of folks might have just ran out the door. ”
Melissa looked fake shocked. “Kim is one of our team members. I would never abandon her in such a dire moment.”
“Yes.” Orchid added. “Quite dire.”
“How is Kim doing?” Melissa asked?
“She’s doing well. They pumped her stomach at the hospital and she’ll be out before the weekend.”
Orchid covered her heart with both hands “I am just elated to hear that”.
Linda smiled at Orchid. “Y’all are so caring. That’s why I appreciate the both of you. How about you guys both get the highest commission bonus this week?”
Melissa was real life shocked now. “Wow, Linda, thank you! I appreciate this a lot.”
“Oh, this is the least I could do. I can’t believe that stuff did that. You know the guy that made it is in jail already?”
“The black doctor?”
“Yes, girl. They found out they were using skin from corpses from prisons. How bout it?”
Melissa and Orchid both said
“Wooooooooow” in unison.
“Yeah, the weird milk he made turned the skin cells into real skin when it hit stomach acid. It was a bunch of science stuff that made my eyes hurt. How bout white people saying he did it on purpose. That guy is done.”
“And no more Melamilk, thank God”, Orchid said.
Linda laughed. “I guess. Some new company is already putting out some stuff called ‘Sun Elixir'”.
Melissa did that thing where you suck your lips in.
Thank you for reading this! I won’t be leaving this up for long cuz niggas creeping. It will be replaced by a lemons chapter, though, because I appreciate y’all.